Monthly Archives: February 2015

What or Who’s to Blame?

multiple-fingers-pointing-blame-at-man

1) Football
The other team (we didn’t play badly, they just played better)

2) Cricket
Unsportsmanlike tactics (like winning)

3) Tennis
The umpire

4) Cycling
Lance Armstrong

5) Government
The previous government (but never the one before that because that was probably them)

6) The NHS
Bedblockers (like the elderly and sick people)

7) Corporate
Institutionalized inefficiency (which we decided to accept rather than address)

8) Business
Foreign markets (what is this, a competition?)

10) The Board
The Shareholders.

11) The Shareholders
The Board.

12) Writers
Critics (without them no-one would’ve noticed)

13) Actors
A lack of motivation (because getting paid wasn’t enough)

14) Musicians
People don’t understand the music (because they’ve been corrupted by songs with a melody)

15) Comedians
It was the wrong audience (the right audience had tickets to see someone funny)

16) Christians
Evolution (because it makes far too much sense)

17) Scientists
Religion (because it tackles questions people actually care about)

18) Bloggers
Mainstream media (without it we might get some views)

19) The British Public
Immigrants (coming over here with their skills and strong work ethic)

20) Neighbours
Nosy neighbours (“Them at number 6 have got nothing better to do – he’s forever in front of the telly and if she’s dressed before midday it’s a miracle.”)

21) Teenagers
Everyone and everything.

22) The Elderly
Everyone and everything.

23) Parents
Computer games (what ever happened to kids wandered the streets without structure or an objective?)

24) Teachers
The National Curriculum (what’s wrong with kids watching The Lord of the Rings in class?)

25) Financial Advisors
The FSA (we don’t need regulation, we’re not in it for the money)

And finally:

26) Banks
Yep.